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Maybe if I walked to one of the neighboring dairies.But I wanted to get to the house possibly before the new milkers, or “The Milkers, yeah,” assuming they might be headed there, to avoid maybe being beat up on the way perhaps in the middle of the road. I didn’t know.I was getting more and more angry, completely unnerved and at the same time frightened out of my wits, really mad in a different braver way, unlike myself and so damned hungry. So I just took off immediately without cleaning up because I was already a bleeding breeding needy nerd appropriately attired for livestock. If anybody happened across me on the road, “YEAH -I’m livestock. Just look at me. What the fuck did you think? Get me out of here!”I hurried down the road to avoid confrontation on the way. I didn’t care if anybody else saw me even if my penis was still discharging all along the way. It they saw me all beat up maybe they would get help but I realized I was also leaving a trail like a garden slug.About half. .. shut down ... for the very last time. Her conscience pulled at her. She couldn't just go down to the cliff without leaving some sort of explanation for Mike, or else he'd think it was because of something he did wrong. Ruthie logged back on with the intention of going to one of the suicide websites that she had bookmarked. She remembered the webmaster had posted drafts of suicide messages ... she'd find the right draft for her situation, type in her information, print it up, leave it on Mike's bed, and then head out.She got into the website and looked through several drafts of suicide notes. She had expected to quickly find one that suited her situation, but unfortunately none of them seemed to really say what she wanted to express. Fuck ... that would mean she'd have to write her own, which would take time, and she had wanted to be out of the room before Mike got back. Sighing with frustration, Ruthie started typing. She started out by telling Mike how much she loved him ... but.
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